you called me
elskan minn
but I was not yours to claim
and you didn’t want me anyway
Of course you wanted me
But I am too terrible to have
too terrible to keep around
to keep
to love
what great recklessness would that be!
Me, with my great strength
and intelligence
and eyes that see you
and of course
let’s not forget I’m too young
and have far too many children
and am chronically underintoxicated
That would be akin to forgetting
that you asked me
for my time
and my heart
and my body
and refused to tell the truth
about where you were
so I could honestly evaluate my own options
my own desires
my own truth
Because the truth is,
þorskurinn minn,
you’re not what I was looking for either
So much older than me
with a past that I cannot overcome
and cold
so very, very cold
Except when you’re not
Well I’ve done that before
in various forms.
I know you already
and I know I’d love you
if you’d let me
But you won’t
So, I’ll dust my hands
and focus on the lovelies that do want me
that will let me love them
that have the potential to love me back unabashedly
Because that,
konungur minn,
is what I am looking for
Unabashed love
desire
reciproricity
excitement
gleaming eyes
and crinkly smiles
Making love like you do
exquisite as it is
is not enough
for me
in spite of what I tell you
in any language