I write for this blog, Brennehoos. It means Brave House. A collective to be strong, vulnerable, brave.
A friend of mine posted this photo on Facebook with the accompanying text:
“This piece was primarily a trust exercise, in which she told viewers she would not move for six hours no matter what they did to her. She placed 72 objects one could use in pleasing or destructive ways, ranging from flowers and a feather boa to a knife and a loaded pistol, on a table near her and invited the viewers to use them on her however they wanted.
Initially, Abramović said, viewers were peaceful and timid, but it escalated to violence quickly. “The experience I learned was that … if you leave decision to the public, you can be killed… I felt really violated: they cut my clothes, stuck rose thorns in my stomach, one person aimed the gun at my head, and another took it away. It created an aggressive atmosphere. After exactly 6 hours, as planned, I stood up and started walking toward the public. Everyone ran away, escaping an actual confrontation.
This piece revealed something terrible about humanity, similar to what Philip Zimbardo’s Stanford Prison Experiment or Stanley Milgram’s Obedience Experiment, both of which also proved how readily people will harm one another under unusual circumstances.
This performance showed just how easy it is to dehumanize a person who doesn’t fight back and is particularly powerful because it defies what we think we know about ourselves. I’m certain the no one reading this believes the people around him/her capable of doing such things to another human being, but this performance proves otherwise.”
and then a follow up comment:
“So every single person who told me ‘ignore them they’ll go away’ and ‘you can’t let them know they bothered you’ and ‘They’ll stop if they don’t see you react’ and all that bull shit, my entire school career, I want you to look good and hard at this.
I want you to think about what you said.
What you keep saying.
What you are telling your children.
You are making them powerless.”
Some of you, no doubt, are already familiar with Marina Abramovic and her piece on Rhythm O (1974). I was very moved by the above text, but also found it quite validating.
I grew up with a Dad who was a very sly bully. And, in turn, my brother is now one and I married one. My dad and husband aren’t so much traditional bullies. My brother is. All three are definite examples of Narcisistic Personality Disorder. I grew up in a “christian” home as well. My mom was a good, submissive wife. She worked hard at a job outside the home and she worked hard at her job in the home as well.
It was never enough.
I didn’t know growing up that my mother wasn’t actually to blame for everything. I only started to see the truth long after it was too late to do anything for her.
What could she have done differently?
I think about this often.
What would have happened if she had spoken the truth? What if she had said “No. That’s not how it is. We are not financially unsuccessful because I’m too afraid to take a chance.”
This is very complex in my head. I may revisit this.
hope is like a lottery ticket, love and lottery tickets